What makes a great driving mentor - and how to be one: Part 1
This is the first post of my series about how to become a calmer, more patient and empathetic driving mentor. These best-practices are the same tools that the best driving instructors in the world have in their toolbox and are the difference between good and great mentorship.
Chances are, if you’re reading this blog then you are either beginning the process of teaching your teen to drive, or you’re trying to figure out how to have a more “successful” experience.
As a driving instructor myself, I found having the ability to control my emotions is the biggest help when teaching driving (or anything for that matter). Your teenager will mirror whatever energy you give them. For example, if you are nervous or scared, they will also be nervous or scared. If you are angry or upset, they will become angry or upset, and they might even become defensive. Those states of mind are not ideal for learning and can even be dangerous when learning to drive. To be an effective driving instructor you need to remain calm and show patience and empathy regardless of how you might really feel inside. This is not an easy thing to do, especially after a near-crash experience.
That's why I'm here to help. Below is the most helpful tip that helped me and others get into the right mindset while teaching driving.
Tip 1: Become the “New Driver”
When I’m not teaching, I like to embarrass myself by learning to dance salsa. In salsa, the man leads all the moves. There are times when I get frustrated because the woman does not go where I want her to. Of course, my ego tells me that this is not my fault, but hers. After all, I’m leading the move correctly. But not too long ago, my opinion of my leading ability got stepped on by an exercise my instructor had me do. Instead of being the leader, I was now the follower. Immediately, I started to notice all of the confusing signals I had been giving as the leader. This helped me understand why my partners weren’t doing the things I wanted them to do on the dance floor. This exercise taught me empathy for the follower and, as a result, improved my ability to lead. Teaching driving is very similar to my salsa example. In order to be the best leader you can be, you need to have empathy for your beginning driver.
Try this exercise. It’s just like the activity in my salsa class where the leader becomes the follower. Hop in the driver’s seat and have an experienced driver give you instructions. Let them tell you to “turn right,” “turn left,” “slow down” or “stop here.” Hopefully, by doing this activity, you will understand what your teen hears and how it might make them feel once your practice sessions begin.
Learning is hard work! Driving might seem easy to you now, but keep in mind that you have been doing this for many, many years and have logged hundreds of thousands of miles. A lot of things about driving might seem obvious to you, but they might not be so obvious to your teen. Try and remember what it’s like to be a beginner at anything, and put yourself in your teen’s shoes.
Good luck and let the great memories begin!
Drew
Learn more about the full Teaching Driving program.